About Me

My name is Lauren, and I am new to the world of blogging…(July 2012)

I have always had an outgoing spirit. I am not shy, and thus, able to approach others without becoming overcome with anxiety. From a very young age, I had this need to provide unconditional regard and support to those who needed it and to include those who were marginalized and rejected by people at my school or who were considered outcasts in our rural, closed-minded community. My ability to empathize with others is one of my greatest gifts. With that said, there are also times when that same ability feels like one of the greatest pit falls of my character. I am easily overcome by my passion for the values and convictions that I hold dear. And that passion, is not always appreciated by others. It also makes me an easy target to be, “The Door Mat.”

I knew that I wanted to help people way before high school. It came natural to me. And so, I earned a BA in psychology. That degree took me nine years to complete, due to the condition of my health, but I FINISHED it! I loved being a mental health professional and I knew I was good at it. My specific passion is in early intervention, particularly with pre-school aged children who have an Autism Spectrum disorder, or an emotional/behavioral disorder. My hope is to one day be trained to use early intervention techniques in conjunction with play and other expressive therapies, as a Licensed therapist, in order to expand and affect the behavior of such special children. I would love to work with Unicef/UN on early education and early intervention programs, diplomacy, and humanitarian efforts here and abroad. Of course, those dreams require the completion of certifications and graduate programs, that I do not yet know that I have the ability to complete.

My current reality; however, is weakness, sickness, exhaustion, and sorrow. I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia Syndrome, Osteoarthritis, TMJ, Degenerative Disc Disease, Restless Legs Syndrome, Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, GERD, Bile Salt DisorderRight Ventricular Dysplasia/Tachycardia, Sleep Apnea, Insomnia, Eczema, Depression/Anxiety, HypothyroidismGastroporesis, and my favorite, Crohn’s Disease {just to name a few}. I have had 6 surgeries, an uncountable amount of procedures, and 7 organs removed. I feel like my whole identity is wrapped up in my health status or my parents’ health status, not to mention finances and the fear of the unknown/future. I’m not only dealing with my own health problems, I am caring for my parents, who are in the end stage of their life: My father has Pulmonary Fibrosis (lung disease), a history of mini strokes, and Heart Disease; along with 10 other serious diseases and an endless stream of serious viruses and bacterial infections that he faces all year round. My mother has Alzheimer’s Disease, along with five other diseases. Our home/family situation has also been compounded by even more stress and complication, due to a series of bad financial decisions, made by the men in the family. The repercussion of their bad judgement has ultimately been laid at my feet.

Somehow, this all has landed on my shoulders; the shoulders of someone declared by the federal government as disabled. Honestly, all of the family turmoil is harder to cope with than anything I lost due to my disabilities. The stress and emotional abuse that a caretaker receives is unbearable and it is combined with the torment of watching the people who you love fade away. I have no help. My parents are all I have and they have nothing left to give. My health is kind of on the back burner for now, because I have to care for them. Even when I’m forced to deal with my severe health problems, I have to do it all on my own. So right now, life feels hopeless! I am currently struggling to just survive, and I am scared that I will never even get the opportunity to thrive. But regardless of all my doubt, I am still unable to let go of the hope that I can still have the life that I want; a life in which I will be happy. And although my dreams and aspirations currently feel out of reach, I am determined to stand on my tip, tip, tippy toes until those dreams are within my grasp!

So if you feel so inclined to follow my blog, you will have a front row seat on the inner workings of my brain, as I learn to adjust to the life I was given, instead of the life I had imagined. And you never know, you might just learn something too!

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “About Me

    • Thank you Carolyn! I don’t always feel like I have a fighting spirit, but I do my best! Thank you for stopping by my blog! I am new to this and do not have many followers. It is always fun to see that number go up. It’s the little things, you know?

      Like

  1. Your current reality sounds a little like mine and I know that frustration of wanting to thrive but not having the health to do it. I’m looking forward to that front row seat. I’m going to watch you thrive. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for following. 🙂 I’m sorry your current reality is what it is. I admire you for getting on here and talking about all so openly and honestly. We have a lot of the same personality traits. I think many times the “quest for justice” became more important to me than the one I was supposed to be helping! Ask me to fight for anyone and I’ll put everything into it, but fight for me? No way! Which contributes hugely to MY current reality! 🙂 I’m so glad that you have a fighting spirit! You’ve overcome much and you’re sure to overcome much more!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi there, hope you’re feeling well. I’m writing an e- book on IBD and I’d really love it if you or anyone reading this blog would take the time to answer a few questions.

    I want to find out what’s working for people – i’m particularly interested in the diet and alternative therapy side. Hopefully, with enough responses they’ll be some clear correlations with people achieving long term success then we can all copy them!

    Well, that’s the plan.

    You can find my questionnaire at:

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/whatthedoctorwonttellyou

    Thanks very much and great blog btw =)

    Vicky – aged 25, UC 12 years

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s